That explains why 18 local staffing managers gathered last week for a workshop sponsored by the Northern California Human Resources Association on straight talk to deal with entitlement in the workplace.

Participants came from Graniterock, Bay Federal Credit Union, UC Santa Cruz and the nonprofit Employment & Community Options, among others.

“We’re talking about a lot of gray areas,” said consultant Christine Silver, a former human resources manager at E-Mu in Scotts Valley.

Employees may feel entitled to choose their own work hours or use up every sick day. Some may chafe at new requirements or new assignments because they feel entitled to have things stay the same. Or they may feel they’re automatically due a promotion.

The solution, according to Silver, is to know how to approach those difficult conversations.

“It’s not as hard as you think,” she said, asking managers to form teams and tackle a problem using one of four strategies:

Mentoring with questions. Ask employees, in a positive and nonjudgmental tone, for their perspective and potential solutions. Give feedback on what you hear and ask your concerns to be addressed rather than reacting in a negative way to what you don’t like.

Constructive feedback and problem-solving. State your observations rather than your

interpretation of a situation. Give feedback as soon as reasonable; if necessary, wait until you’re calm. Start with a statement of positive outcome and collaboratively develop a solution.

Development planning. Analyze, with the employee, business needs and his/her career interests and look for matches. Collaborate with the employee on a plan such as training classes, readings or mentoring; if he helps create the plan, he’s more likely to follow through.

Conflict resolution: Determine if it’s a single incident or a pattern. Start with a positive intention, describe the concerns, explain the impact, let the other person respond and then develop ideas collaboratively to meet the goal; recap the agreement and set time to check on progress.

When an employee makes a statement out of the blue, it can catch a supervisor off guard.

Silver said scheduling a private conversation, taking a few minutes to develop a thoughtful reply, can be more effective than simply being harsh and heavy-handed.

Some people just want to vent, one manager said, while another recommended “counting to whatever number is good for you” before responding.

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